That Cyster Girl

On October 28th, Most of you know that I celebrated my daughter’s 2nd birthday due to us moving. A few weeks prior, I stated that I was still on my cycle, well I thought it was slowing down  and finally coming to an end (so I thought) but instead my cycle turned for worse. During my daughter’s party, I noticed I was filling my pads every two hours and my cramps were dominating all the pain pills I was ever prescribed (typical). After all my family and friends left, I called the nurse advice line and I was advised to go the ER right away. I arrived and had a conversation with the ER doctor on what should they do?(which I thought was weird, Shouldn’t they know what to do??)  I told them to run a series of the important tests to make sure I was not bleeding internally; they also agreed to an ultrasound as well. After waiting for my results, my doctor came back to let me know that, I was not bleeding internally but they did see the other cysts, which haven’t formed into nothing serious (Yet). Then the head resident came in and broke the news about me needing to seriously consider having a hysterectomy (in that moment I knew that one of my biggest fear was coming true). He apologized and told me there was not a lot of options left since this was my 3rd time being in the emergency room within a few months for the same issue. He also addressed that my anemia had come back.  He stressed that the anemia would eventually turn deadly, especially with me having liver disease. After being up for 24hours, I came home and rested (I was so weak and exhausted). Few days later, I tried to follow up with the OB doctors, but they said I had to go back to my doctor to get a referral. My doctor already put me in the pile of a don’t bother, since I’m moving, which is unfortunate. Pretty much they have left me in confusion on the possibilities of me having another child. On the flip side, I get to go to a new place that may have better doctors and specialists, this could possibly result in receiving better news (I always try to see the brighter side).  After stressing myself out on moving crossed the US on my cycle, it finally stopped. I’ve been free for about a week now. Let’s hope I don’t start again.

Well I know some of you are wondering how am I taking it all in with everything going on. To tell you the truth,I cried for a few days and I’m still being hard on myself but I realized this wasn’t the end for me, I just have to keep faith. Honestly, I don’t know how to feel, I’m happy to consider an option that will end something that will eventually kill me. On the other hand, I will be miss out on bringing another child in this world. Yeah, I know there are millions of children out there that need a home and love,but nothing compares to giving life. It also sucks being young and everyone around me are having kids left and right. I know that God didn’t put women on this earth just to have children, but it’s a gift that every woman wants to experience. I grew up by myself and all I ever wanted was a sibling to grow up with. I always envisioned myself  having a couple of children with my husband but here I am struggling to have another. I am very grateful to have our daughter and I sacrificed my body just to have her, but I would love that if I could have another child before losing the ability to do so.

I will keep you all posted on what happens next on this matter. I will be taking a break from blogging until I am settled after my move! As I briefly explained on my Facebook page, I won’t always drop a blog after my appointments because some results I receive I have to take time to accept and make sure I am alright to share with you all( I still have feelings). I will be getting my YouTube channel up and running. If I have time before I go, I will be drop an intro video. So keep following my Facebook page for updates. I’m excited to give you all more of me.