That Cyster Girl

Hello everyone,

Welcome back to another blog post! I know it’s been so long since I have written anything on here. I’m truly sorry about that. Any who, let’s jump into it.

I know we have all heard that phrase “Who hurt you”. In this era of social media that term is more of a sarcastic joke. But let’s actually have a talk about who has hurt us throughout our lives. This not a blame post, this is more of a coming to terms of the hurt.

Story time:  She grew up in a single parent home.  Growing up was okay.  But one day at the age of 6 or 7, she saw the love was longer present in her mother’s eyes and from there her life turned for the worse. Around the age of 7 or 8 she realized that her mother may have a drinking problem. But her focus was on the fact that she had to hide the secret of being sexual abuse by a supposed to be “father figure.”  There is a saying that “parents are usually their kids’ first bully.”  There is a lot of truth in that statement.  Most people would have received a form of nurture and care during that age, well unlike them she dealt with a war that was far from over.  Despite being thrown into adulthood from different aspects of abuse and no one to turn to, she still remain hopeful.

As she headed to school, there was no breaks for her, constant bullying from her peers, along with going home and taking on the adult role, wondering if she would be touched that evening or beaten by her mother for something.  Now, not everyday was terrible for her.  She knew that her mother was doing best to raise a child on her own.  Raising a kid alone is not easy. But at what point does the child have to punish for that decision that her mother made. Her mother was also damaged so she used alcohol to suppress those feelings.  At first her mother thought she could handle her liquor.  Well, unfortunately alcohol slowly consumed her mother.  Her mother became an abuser and was very determined to break her daughter’s spirit.  Her mother made sure she groomed her for the future to be her mother’s care taker.

As time went on, she grew accustomed to the abuse and the sexual abuse.  Nothing surprised her anymore.  She was taught to use her body as an asset to get what she wants out of men.  During high school, she was focused on finding something to fill the void of emptiness, which led her youth life to be on the edge all the time. She did whatever she could do to escape the harsh reality in which she felt that nobody wanted her or cared.  Luckily she never went off into drugs, but she still dabbled in alcohol. For the grace of God, she ended up choosing to go on the journey to find herself to become a better version of herself.  For now, I will stop the story here.

This story is a small preview of my childhood. I will be releasing a more explicit version later. But the point is to start the conversation we are all afraid to talk about.  At some point we need to address the things that hurt us and work on healing ourselves for the better if we don’t we will continue the vicious cycle all over again.

So my question for you is… Who hurt you?